Guest Post: In memory of anyone who ran Ballycotton ...by Pat Walsh

 ** In memory of anyone who ran Ballycotton **

This pops up today as a memory from few years ago. We should be thinking Ballycotton 10 around this time. At the time I was being creative, mad, slightly irrational but TRUE. Feck I was half daft 😃 

Pity they left the race go without discussion locally. Was a GREAT 10 mile. A Classic

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Ballycotton 10:  Survive the DAY:
Most Important Advice
If asked on the morning how you are going to do in the race, then please follow these instructions.

Take a deep breath and scrunch your face.

Shuffle a bit on both feet, put your hand on the back of your hamstring, and then in a low voice say
“I was going well until the Floods/ Flu / Flare-up of Old injury” (whichever you want to use)

This covers all outcomes of Flying home, doing handy enough or having a complete nightmare..
If someone uses this tactic on you and runs past you at 6mn/ml pace then you know they are a -- "Liar Liar Pants on Fire"

Ignore all those who look like “athletes” doing miles beforehand and very convoluted stretching.
Save your energy for the run and don’t do yourself an injury by trying those stretches.

Lean against the wall and do 1 calf stretch (a small grunt as well) and you are sorted.

In 38 Years of this race nobody has ever got a Best-Dressed Prize, so bring out all those ill-fitting t-shirts and gear that you got and complained about in other races, and use them to keep warm before the race.

Dispose of them carefully as you warm-up along the way. 2 Problems solved in 1 GO
At the start line, no matter how Cold, Warm, Wet or Windy it is, then some old fella next to you (could be me) will tell you about the Year 199* when it was worse…

After half a mile you will pass 3 people together going so slow and causing a backlog that you will wonder did they actually stand ON THE START LINE. They did..
You will always meet a cousin you didn’t know was running it.

Remember there will be cameras in the last mile so however you are feeling then hide it and put on a smile that says. “Was that the warm-up”

At the end of the race in your Oxygen deprived state there will be 1 Smart-Alec who will say.. “The Hill wasn’t too bad this year”..

Please resist the urge to break the Mug over his head.. (Yes it will be a man)
Someone always drops a Mug on the way back to the car… Don’t let it be you
You are allowed to eat the Mars Bar after the race even if you are OFF Chocolate for Lent… Special Vatican Dispensation  #BallyC1978

As you go back down the village after the race, show support and respect for those still finishing.
Remember they have suffered for longer period of time than you have, so they deserve MORE help than anyone else.

If anyone asks, are you going to presentation Ceremony in the hall afterwards just say:-
“I heard I was 4th or 5th in my category and I just lost out as there are only 3 prizes”. Immediately call another pint for yourself.

If you are having a Drink this evening then counting alcohol units doesn’t matter…. again Special H.S.E. Dispensation  #BallyC2016

If you are drinking with non-running people you are not allowed to talk about the race for longer than it actually took you to run it.

If you do then you are now a "Grade-One Running Bore”

Have a Great Day and say Hello to anyone in a “Pat Walsh Running” T-shirt
Remember 10miles in a good time is optional;

Having a laugh and a good day out is MANDATORY...